Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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