youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
