i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
