Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
