I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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