if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
