so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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