I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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