People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
