My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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