yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
