apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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