If i come over, it means nothing
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
