Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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