I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
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