Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
