I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
