Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
