i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
