If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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