Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My bed smells like the plague
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