So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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