It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
