ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
