He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize