I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
