Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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