Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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