Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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