How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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