Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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