I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
that's an acceptable place to lick
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
