At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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