Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
