"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize