im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
