im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
