I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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