cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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