Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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