She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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