brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
