I must be too annoying 4 u.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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