are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You're like the curious george of whores
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
