found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
