If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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