I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
