Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
