He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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