I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
