did you get engaged???
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His nipple licking is glorious
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