discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
