Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
