I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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