i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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