I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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