biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
