only if we run a train.
done.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
