there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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