Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
