So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
