We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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